Couples Therapy
A key change occurs in couple's therapy when you look less at your partner and LOOK MORE AT YOURSELF.
Do you like and respect YOURSELF? Don't think about your partner for a moment. If you think about how you are currently operating in your life, what do you notice? Do you like how you treat people, especially those closest to you? How much does your partner really know you? How much can you tolerate, at this point, being seen by them, and possibly yourself?
I treat couples from a non-pathological approach, which means that I believe sexual difficulties in relationships are normal and that long-term relationships, in particular, increase the pressure on individuals to mature and develop. That doesn't mean harmful relational patterns aren't occurring in your relationship; often they are. Issues of selfhood (the need to differentiate) and issues of attachment (the need to connect with others) are well at work in your relationship. This is how we grow - through a process of being in a relationship long enough that we are being seen at increasingly deeper levels. We're being known more, and can't hide the undesirable aspects of ourselves as easily.
Likely you have relived the same patterns and the same conversations over and over. This is where I come in. Having me address your relationship dynamics can help stop your dynamic mid-stream and highlight undercurrents that you may be missing. I see it as my job to bring all of what is going on between you to light; and to talk about it openly in our therapeutic work together so you can make the most informed decisions possible for yourselves. And if you're willing to operate differently and be honest from an open place in yourself, you can choose a whole new way of being, right now. Basically, you're choosing being known over self-protection. What this means is that to tolerate intimacy, you need to become more grounded in yourself and more honest. I can help you do that. You are responsible for you from the strongest place inside of you. That strong place is what I'm speaking to in therapy with you.
I work with individuals and couples of all genders, am sex-positive (support consensual, wanted, non-coercive experiences) and LGBTQI affirming.
